Gary van Warmerdam does frequent podcasts as well as blog posting on emotions, self-awareness, and beliefs based on emotional impeccability. Just like most of us, he is a normal person, with normal feelings. I am not certain if he has a Ph D. in any matters involving psychology but, he is a source that has gained variable ranges of knowledge through self awareness. He has gained this knowledge through the help of a mentor.
One of his latest articles I found particularly interesting called Emotional Reactions involved a podcast as well as a blog. The focus of the article was based that any emotion that is derived from a reaction stems another emotion. I believe this to be true. This is actually a very important thing to realize. If you are sewing something and poke your finger you will be upset you poked your finger and maybe distressed because you are in pain. From there, because you are distressed, you may be cranky or short with people and become impatient and so you just continue to build on the negativity. "In this case you will then have an emotion about an emotion." Gary calls this an emotional garden. According to Gary, people want to seed positive emotions and be free from emotional suffering. In his experience, he has found that expecting the positive emotions to become immediately present just tend to lead to more negative emotions such as frustration and anger. By weeding out emotions without being aware of what he calls an "emotional field" that everyone has, you will be subject to a numbness of emotion. I believe this is true and it is interesting to me that a lot of people these days tend to weed out rather than confront their emotions.
My parents are a prime example. They have been divorced for a couple years and one is engaged, the other is remarried. Both of them have no idea how to handle each other emotionally other than by anger. As a result, my dad is content but still in love with my mom. My mom has had trouble emotionally dealing with any other suitor, including her new fiance'. Gary thinks "by becoming aware of this emotional field, you will be able to plant the deep roots that it takes to gain happiness and slowly rid your "self" of emotional distress." I am a firm believer in confronting your emotions. Some personal experiences have led me to use this practice but unlike him, while he uses a mentor, I use myself. I have learned to confront my emotions by myself and it has helped me in a positive way. My life has become more positive because of it. Because I can relate, I found this article to be interesting and I completely agree with Gary.
2 comments:
Good insight and good post. I can sort of see what you are talking about when you talk about the emotional garden. I (probably like most females) am a very emotional person. I sometimes feel like I could begin an all out emotional breakdown sometimes with all of the stress and hurt that I face each day. I feel like I am a strong person though, but then again when it comes to dealing with my emotions in an effective manner I feel like I am a very weak person that I let it control my thoughts, my daily activities, and ultimately my life. I wouldn’t mind getting some counseling on this subject and perhaps learn how to better deal with the emotional parts of life, and also maybe learn how it is that you “face” it and that has helped you.
To Clarify,
You Said,
"I am a firm believer in confronting your emotions. Some personal experiences have led me to use this practice but unlike him, while he uses a mentor, I use myself."
I don't use a mentor to dissolve my emotions. My mentor taught me about the world of emotions and how to master them, but each person has to do their own emotional work.
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